what use is a personal Blog if I don't tell it my real, inner thoughts? Like how I am freaking out right now because I am shitting blood. Whom can I talk to? Medicos? Hah!! Ten minutes to listen to their platitudes like "(I know it is probably fatal, but I'll tell you:) it looks small, see this Specialist in about it. (I know you won't see him for a month and then it will be another month for the test which can only happen on a specific day, no matter how inconvenient, but I'll tell you:) Nothing to worry about, you will be fixed up in no time."
One might pray, of course, but that freaks me out even more. I dabbled in 'Ceremonial Magic' with a method of my own devising that I called "Faerie Magick" and called myself Uncle Gnaum. I did my own progression, firstly working through the Tarot Pack till I reached the Magus, and then moved to the next series of training that took me up to the High Priestess. I did a lot of amazing Meditations that were certainly all in my head, but I did feel totally connected to something Universal.
The big secret that I have never told anyone is that I am a Cannabis Addict. When I was having the Counseling at SECASA, I didn't tell Donovan and when I was seeing Anastasia at Relationships Australia, I didn't admit it, but always kept it a secret. That Dr Anthony did ask about drugs in a very vague way, and I answered equally vaguely. Perhaps then I used my oft quoted generalisation that I haven't smoked cigarettes for decades, which is true as I only smoke 'green'.
No comments:
Post a Comment