Slight Progression

Rick the Roofman rang this morning to confirm and I am glad he did.  We got tangled up again in the warning that the spacing of the rafters for the clear stuff (he said the name but I forgot it again instantly) are really a bit too wide apart and he warned me again there could be trouble ahead, but I said we would live with it.  He confused me and I started stressing about how we could have arranged for extra rafter be put in this week as we had days with nothing happening, but he reminded me we talked about it and I said lets go with what there is because my Artist tenant wants the minimum of shadows.  His memory was not as good with the number of sheets, as he said six each side and he was ordering twelve, but I said, 'Fourteen,' and reminded him we wanted one each side in the outer part.  I hope that is right.  But we did confirm you want totally clear and untinted, except for the UV, which is standard.

Did you know that insects, spiders and aparently some birds can see Ultra Violet?  The little black spiders that live everywhere (there is a great little funnel at the bottom of our street door) supposedly just appear black to us, but are reflective and hence bright in UV.  Ravens are not black but UV, which is somehow more purple than purple.  There is an interesting colour on the colour wheel between red and purple that does not correspond to a wavelength as the wheel is really not circular but just appears that way to our eyes and brains, but is a line that extends far past each end of the range of colours we can see.  I was fascinated by theories of colour when I was an Architect Student.  I think it was second year when the lecturer Mrs Coldicutt put in a special question in the exam on advanced colour theory just for me.  It was the most useless first class honour I ever got and I got quite a few useless honours.

The delivery is slated for Monday afternoon.  They are predicting 'showers' for Sunday night and most days next week.  Sad they couldn't put on the roof this week, but he was away and next week was his earliest.

Yesterday, when I was talking to Mike, I went into my standard speech about how I didn't know it was an asbestos roof but once I did know, I had to replace it.  Mike laughed at me and scoffed and said they were no danger at all, even when they start to crack as that one had.  I had great trouble defending my apparent stupidity at spending so much to change a roof that did not need it.  It was too complex to explain that in a sense he was right and had no one ever known, no one would have ever worried and there would have been no problems, but that all depended on a state of ignorance.  It really wasn't a problem, despite the horror of the cork-screw molecules, but knowing about it made it a problem.  Anyhow, I only have a few more days to stress about it, so I am making the most of it while I can.  This is such a totally revolutionary activity for me.  I did up the passage which looked very industrial till I made it look paneled and put in the false ceiling, though it was meant to be higher, but the guy stuffed it while I was out, I think deliberately because it was easier.  I have never done anything at 45/47.  I have never done anything - till now.  I think it is because of the counseling after facing up to the abuse I suffered as a child and its miserable consequences.  I a doing a lot of things lately that surprise me.  I have gone through the archive cupboard in the back room and thrown out to big bin-fulls.  I have gone through kitchen cupboards and found all sorts of things I have suddenly started to use.  Not a lot but compared to nothing for a third of a century a few things gradually and slowly is amazing.  A couple of months ago I actually redid my WWWeb Home Pages, that were untouched since the start of the century, but after beginning to revise some of the attached files, I left them and moved on, but www.tered.org and www.tered.com now work. There are other things too, I think.  If only I felt well.  I was feeling really fantastic for a few weeks till recently, but lately I have leg pain and struggle to walk, and my heart has been up and down and I have had stomach problems and my inability to sleep is not better, and also on top of all that I feel as if I have no energy for anything, even if I feel able to do things now, and I feel so tired as if all I want is to hit the pillow, and yet I cannot sleep without chemical help and after many years all of it is starting to lose its effectiveness.  Remember when you got me something in London and smuggled in multiple packets of something that is banned here?  Even they became weak;  I think I have a couple left.  There must be some wonderful new German soporifics that are not habit forming, though what the problem is with being addicted I cannot see.  If on cannot sleep without them and hence must have them for the rest of one's life, how is that different from needing because one is addicted?  It is just Medicos being perverse.  It is time to go to Billy's we are ordering from Koko's tonight.  I always get Nachos.  They do it really well.  We have been getting it about once a months for over fifteen years.  Billy always gets fabulous meat meals like Parmas or double-dogs with the lot.  Somehow I manage to make my diet work.  I follow cravings because I believe my body or parts of it know what it needs or wants.  Apart from the ailments described above, which are recent and probably part of a phase, like the effects of a virus, I am fabulously well.  It is just sad that I didn't feel like this sixty years ago.  I would love to have felt like this when I was twelve.  I remember it so well, it was a crucial year for me, and I was so feeble and sick so often, and just didn't care because I heard on the radio I listened to during the lonely days when I was sick in bed about the Romantic Poets who died young.  I only wrote one poem at that age but I still remember it: 'Some men die with their boots on and some men die in bed.  I don't care what I wear when I die, because when I die I'll be dead.'  On that sombre note I shall say good night from here to there guten morgan.